There's Always Something More Important

There’s always something more important than God. Errands, family issues, work, etc. Everyone knows our adrenaline-based society lives off of caffeine highs, energy shots and 6 a.m. wake-up calls. So it’s no surprise that when we catch a moment of stillness and quiet, we don’t know how to handle it. It’s our twenty-first century nature to thrive on a hectic schedule, getting from here to there in the most efficient way possible and using every second to our advantage.

After participating in this lifestyle so long, we not only embrace our fast-track destiny, we cling to it whenever a moment of true silence approaches. Terrified of what these moments might bring, we feverishly avoid the hard-hitting questions. You know the ones. Those questions that catch up with you that you can only avoid for so long ‘til they end up slapping you across the face when reality hits. Questions like: what course of action should I take in this situation? What is God’s will for me? What are the right words to say here? We continuously bypass taking the time to ask for these things beforehand, but the second we need something, our hands assume the praying position and our heads finally glance upward. Why is it that it usually takes a crisis or a desire that needs filling for us to turn to God?

We’re called to have a constant and intentional relationship with him, which is something I found very hard to learn. When you’re a kid sitting in church, the sermon seems like a set of do’s and don’ts that you have to live by. Don’t lie. Don’t steal. Don’t cheat, and so on. But that’s a smaller part of Christianity than I could comprehend at such a young age. I had the image of God as this judge, sitting on an almighty throne and waiting for us to mess up so He could punish us. That’s what God seems like to a child who constantly hears rules and guidelines.

God is a judge who takes sin seriously, but we tend to forget one of the central images of Christianity, which is the Son of God, struggling to breathe on a cross, bruised and bloody. Not a pretty picture? Well, to a Christian it should be the most beautiful image as we know that his love for us went beyond expectation. He put all selfishness aside and became sin for us. All of our selfishness keeps us from loving others and even God as Jesus Christ,

“Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross!” (Philippians 2:6-9)

Every breath and every step he took, he was living to glorify his heavenly Father. IF we lived that way, how powerful would a movement like that look to the non-believer? To me, when I look at any sin, selfishness can be found at the root of all of them: pride, greed, anger, malice, the list goes on. But if we used those precious moments of silence and asked for a change of heart to be more like Christ, that selfishness could have the potential to be replaced with an extraordinary gift: unconditional love. And what better example to model ourselves after but the one who has walked in our shoes, who knows the hardships and temptations of a human life, who upheld a righteous life and yet still bore our sins on a cross despite his blameless record?

God, give me strength to live selflessly as your Son did and put others before myself.

Diane Elise

How Can I Help YOU?

With life hitting you hard every chance it gets, taking time to give importance to the little joys in life is key. And nothing makes you as satisfyingly happy as helping another brother or sister. It helps your focus on God when you take the routine self-centeredness and center your focus on someone else's needs. After watching What Would You Do?(an ABC tv show that uncovers how people react in adverse situations), I'm reminded that sometimes it takes a leader to do the right thing in order for others to harness that same courage.

Working in retail at Old Navy is one of those challenges that constantly puts me in my place to put others before myself. Retail sounds easy but there are angry and annoyed customers out there who really just have it out to make you miserable sometimes. I used to be really bitter towards this job until I saw that God was giving me an opporunity to interact with people one-on-one and truly make a difference to someone's day.

Dying to yourself is so hard, and yet it was one of the qualities Christ exemplified best. Through all of his roles as passionate leader, advocate for the weak, and sacrifice to the world, all required a level of servitude only the Holy One could be fully committed to. Time and again, he left his own needs wanting in order to show pure and unconditional love to an undeserving audience.

My hope for this week is that God would present me with opportunities to serve others, giving my own desires little regard. 2 Corinthians 9:19 has resonated with me continuously, "Though I am free and belong to no man, I am a slave to everyone so that I may win as many as possible." And that's our job here: dying to ourselves in order to take up the cross which Jesus gave us the honored duty to carry.

God, give me the strength to leave narcissism at the door. I want to serve as You do, with my whole heart.

Diane Elise

Weary and Satisfied

This week has already been so crazy. There have been tests, quizzes, hoework, group assignments, work, the list goes on. I've been running all over the place trying to get all this stuff done but my sense of peace and comfort has not left me thankfully.

It's taken me a long time to figure out that God gives us what we need and also what we ask for. I think without turning to Him constantly this week I would have been frazzled and frustrated. But with His help I've been surprisingly grounded and carefree even with all the work I see ahead of me.

Life has proven time and again to be tempestuous and unpredictable. It's so much easier now though that I've found the One True Constant. He has given me unprecedented strength and peace this week and I am so grateful to be beyond the worries of this world.

Thank you God for the patience you've supplied me with this week,

Diane Elise

Truth or Dare

When I talk to God, I'm usually just playing this useless game of truth or dare. Truth: what is your will for me? What am I doing wrong here? Am I being honest? Dare: Use me. Guide Me. Lead Me. Sounds a little selfish if you ask me and I feel like when His Son has already been sacrificed to give the world, I could be asking a little more often what I can do on His behalf.

It made perfect sense at the Bible study I helped lead this past Thursday night. Ephesians 2 is talking directly to us about casting off our old sin, which we were enslaved to in our old lives, and becoming alive in Christ with the strength he has bestowed upon us through the Holy Spirit.

"And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus. " (Ephesians 2: 6, 7)

So just throught his kindness, he decidede to give us eternal life, which I find wildly surprising. He is consistently true to character. How awesome to live righteously with no option of sinning or failure. Christ did it.

But for how indebted we are to Him, he still asks nothing of us to obtain salvation. It's "priceless" for a reason but it seems that we should be actively working on his behalf as well. Yet again, God sees our prideful nature as humans and stops our pride in its tracks as we think that what we do for Him could make any difference in our salvation:

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9not by works, so that no one can boast."

And then we rationalize our sin. Well, if God is gonna forgive either way, and I can't do anything to earn His grace, why not sin? He cleverly answers that question too. He's just too smart for our human little peabrains. freely giving us salvation is NOT synonymous with giving us license to sin. We are still called to do great things for Him. He even sweetly calls us His "workmanship", or artwork. The God of the Heavens, calling us His art...wow. We should be using that gift! As a work of art living with the Holy Spirit, He can use us for His good purposes.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

Life application: How can I actively be God's workmanship without attempting to earn my salvation? I'm not a theological scholar, but I think the answer here is to be sincere and do things out of pure Love and Gratitude for Christ's sacrifice. It's not about Who am I supposed to be? or How many church functions can I attend?..It's about Am I living out my life with respect to the ultimate Love that Christ showed me? Am I glorifying Him and striving to be holy in all that I say and do?

I think that's what God wants from us. Sincerity. Honor. Respect. LOVE. Doing things with the right motives is a hard feat. But I'm trying, and that's all I can do.

Yours,

Diane Elise

Broken...again

So thankful to have my eyes open to the tragedy of my weaknesses. I understand that I'm human, and I understand we can't be perfect. But why is it that everytime I feel like I'm making progress I fall hard? I'm really tired of knowing what I should be doing and then doing the complete opposite. Yes, it comes with the territory as a human because we're fallen. I'm just so frustrated!!...confused, shocked, scared. I don't think that anyone could truly look at my life and notice a Christian. And that makes me unbelievably sad. I don't want to live sinfully and yet I succumb to sin time and time again. I can't wait to be in God's kingdom and live every second to purely glorify Him. I haven't been able to say that I've glorified God in anything I've done lately. But it's more than treading water. It's like I'm actually swimming with the current of the world I'm supposed to be fighting against. I'm thankful to be broken and see that I need God so desperately. I'm thankful for the trillion blessings He's given me. I'm mostly thankful my salvation doesn't rely on my own rap sheet because I'm 100% certain I'd have a one-way ticket south if it did. I miss God. I miss doing what I'm supposed to do. And I'm ready to be the person I'm supposed to be. I can't do it myself though. Left to my own devices, I would continuously be running on a linoleum floor with car wax on it.

God, give me strength to be yours and only yours. Don't let me split my heart between you and the world.

Yours,

Diane Elise

Changing My Mentality

I don't think there's a part of my life God can be excluded from. Everywhere I am, there He is. Behind every thought, every action, every word. But instead of seeing Him as a silent finger-pointing ruler of the world, I can now see Him for what He really is, which is a caring, loyal, selfless creator who has ordained every part of my life for His glory and my enjoyment of knowing Him in all His glory.

And so, knowing that simple truth has changed how I think about things and how I can approach any situation. I am so filled with compassion and love for complete strangers lately. A simple thought occurred to me today which I verbalized to a coworker. If Christ can fully love his children as they shamelessly mock Him and nail Him to a cross, how much more can I simply love those around me who aren't threatening me in any way. Even during His death, Christ chose to exemplify the unchangeable love of His Father.

Even moreso lately, I can just FEEL God's presence through everything I do. Who was I kidding when I used to think I could hide certain parts of my life from God just because I wouldn't acknowledge them? That's just crazy. And why would I want to have that feeling of independence when God clearly has my best interests at heart? If anything, I should rejoice in never having a minute completely to myself. God is never asleep on the job saying "sorry, business hours are over...call again tomorrow."

I'm just grateful that I finally can see that God is a 24-hour well of love and patience that I will forever have access to, regardless of how little I deserve it. It's surprising, but I think I've been waiting for a long time to see if God will let me down. And even though I may be going through a trial or a test, God has never once given me more than I can handle. He will never bring a storm and then not offer me his own umbrella.

I'm in love with Him and I can't see this rapid growth of love slowing down anytime soon. It will never see the end of the tunnel because knowing the vastness of His love will take more than a lifetime. I can't wait to see what He has for me next!

Hey God...It's me again.

Ok. So being overwhelmed with anxiety didnt work out. There are so many things piling up in my life that it seemed like I couldn't handle it. But eventually I came back to the thought that I wasnt created to handle it by myself but I was made to NEED to lean on God for all things.

After having an extremely rough weekend where one thing after another went wrong, I was physically shaking to the point of a panic attack/nervous breakdown. But God in all His glorious mercy opened up opportunities for me to be able to talk to several girls at my church who have really been an inspiration to me. I am so thankful for their presence and their ability to remind me of God's unconditional love.

That's a hard concept for me, mostly because I really don't deserve any part of His love. But He says to me through his Word and through Mary, a great encourager and friend, "My God is changeless in his love for me and he will come and help me." Psalm 59:10. Unbelievable to me that he would still want me after what a mess I am, but he's there regardless.

I asked for this. I asked God to give me "trials and tribulations" because I know that it's a sure-fire relationship builder. I prayed it hastily, knowing I would want to take it back. And let me say, when it rains, it pours. But I wouldn't change how I got so overwhelmed because it showed me that I can't do it by myself. God made us to need the fellowship and protection of true friends who can give sound advice and lead us in the right direction. He made us to desperately need him and I feel so safe knowing that my life is dependent on the one who has my best interests at heart no matter what I think my path in life might be. I'm so glad to have been down that hard time so that now I really see how much I truly NEED Him.

Time after time I come to Him asking to take me back, to help me off the floor and give me strength. I'm just now seeing that he wants us to have that desperate desire for Him. I had to hit a really low low to realize exactly how much dependence I have for Him..to change my heart, to keep me going, to show me my sin, to take it upon himself, to literally breathe when I've stressed out so much I don't remember how.

He knew I needed Him and that I needed those girls yesterday and I am so thnkful that he delivered such an awesome, genuine, amaaazing set of girls that I can truly count on to lift me up through prayer and fellowship. God is sooooooooo goood!!!!!!!!!!!

He gave me such an overwhelming sense of peace about everything and has allowed me to remember his love that does not fail me when I fail myself.
Plus, I got Crazy Love today and I'm super-excited to get started with this life-changing book that I have heard so much about from numerous people.

God, I don't want to be lukewarm. I want to be on fire for you and constantly seeking your will in every situation. Guide me to your will, take away my selfishness and allow me to show others your mercy and grace in all that I say and do.

Diane Elise

This God- His Way is Perfect

This God, His way is perfect. The word of the Lord proves true. He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him. - 2 Samuel 22:31

Surrendering all of my worries seems selfish. I'm a pretty independent person and knowing that someone else is willingly sharing ANY of my burdens is hard for me to accept. Having cancer when I was younger has caused me to be a bit more callous than I would have been. Ultimately, you just can't rely on anybody but yourself to get through the day...Or that's what I thought anyways.

It's hard to change your mentality after relying on yourself for so many years but I'm finding it to be one of the most necessary elements of my walk with Christ. Letting it go and giving it up to Him is what he asks of us. He doesn't say "Be courageous every day relentlessly because anything less is failure." In fact He asks us to draw strength from Him in order to glorify Him. ( 2 Corinthians 12:9 God's power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.)

So I'm seeing a roadmap here for learning to walk with Christ. First stop, actually read the map. You have no idea how to get somewhere if you can't read instructions. Second, rely on the map to show you the right way to go. Having a map that isn't correct will get you nowhere. Third stop, move your feet in the direction the map says to go validating your trust in what it says.

Essentially, reading God's Word is the only way we can learn what His will is for our lives and leaving this guide closed every day is foolish. As we believe what God says, we can leave our fears and worries behind, trusting that He is leading us in the best direction possible. But the third step is where I get hung up.

Following through and taking the steps to completely rely on Him is a struggle for me! I can get into the Word and see what I'm supposed to do, be secure in that direction, and then completely fail to give total control to God. It baffles me because instead of taking the safe way which God has planned for me, I go the opposite direction in order to assert the fact that I can make my own choices.

Now why would I do that? Why when "His way is perfect" would I choose to go a different path??? I don't know the answer because I want to make the right choice but I can't seem to let my heart and feet agree.

God, help me to clearly see the right path according to your desires for me and allow me to fearlessly follow the path which you have shown me,

Diane Elise

Unstoppable Passion

Over the past couple of months, I have jumped into the Young Adult Community (YAC) at Hope Presbyterian Church. I still don't know how I feel particularly about being a pres, seeing as I've been a Southern Baptist all my life, but I do know that this place has truly given me hope. After years of being numb to life and unfocused on what's really going on, I have really started to wake up.

But even though I'm consistently going to church now (Sundays plus various days of the week), I can't tell how much it's really effected my personal relationship with God. I can see myself happier and definitely more focused on the beauty of life. I see the hope I have in Christ and I know that my past sins are not counted against me.

But how much more am I really talking with God? When does my dedication to knowing Him become so fervent that I can't go a day without talking to Him? I want desperately to be a sincere Christian and not just one that seems to know what they're saying. The thing is, I truly believe in all of the inspirations which God has sent me lately and know that He is continuously there for me.

Now it's my turn to be there for Him and show up where it really counts, in personal one-on-one time with Him. I want to be doing things for His glory and not my own. My slefishness for attention and the desire for people to see me doing the "right thing" have to cease to be the factors that drive me to righteousness.

God, give me an unstoppable passion for you that can only be quenched as I bring glory to Your Name in a selfless way,

Diane Elise

Ahhhhh

To be still for minute is absolutely amazing. I feel like I've been going going going all week and finally I have absolutely nothing to do. Catching up with Hulu is always part of my downtime but my queue is still quite daunting. While the rest is much-needed, I must say I have really enjoyed being so busy this past week. (Rest always seems much sweeter when it's deserved ha.) I also feel like I've accomplished so much just by working and reconnecting with people. Cassie and Kealy came swimming this week which was so fun. Those girls are just a kick to be around. I remember being a senior in high school...vaguely. They're just really sweet. And then Drew from high school went to a Ryan's party with me Friay night and that was a lot of fun.

Looking back at the week I guess I have had adequate downtime but helping my grandparents clean, working with Alexis and at Old Navy it just seems like a lot.

God has really shown me alot this week through various situations. The lesson most frequently shown to me would have to be the "fearless" message which I have been hearing since I started Max Lucado's bible study with Jeanne. In everything you do, and I mean everything, if fear is in play, the situation is never as good as it has the potential to be. Fear is crippling and unsettles your stability in Christ and it's been really nice not to be so anxious and worried all the time.


Here's hoping next week is as good to me as this past week was :)

Seeking Him

Today's Bible study theme was seeking Him. Really, this is some of the most concise, sound advice you can receive for your daily life. Everything else will automatically fall into place if you're striving to do your best through Him. I have been so encouraged lately by the people God has brought into my life. I asked specifically for these new people in prayer and He faithfully delivered. I am so excited about this new time in my life because I can see God in everything! It's crazy how much you notice when you actually take the time to look around.

I can't remember a time in my life when I have been able to think so clearly. Nothing is holding me back from doing the things I want to do and the peace that comes with knowing "perfect love casts out fear" is phenomenal. God has put blessing after blessing after blessing into my life when I clearly haven't been living a life worthy of such acknowledgement. It's Easter's great message of salvation though that God loves us more than He really should.

Easter morning was one of the most glorious mornings. Mom, Michael and Adam and I went to my grandparents church for sunrise service and I think it was the first time since I've gone that it hasn't been frigidly cold. The warmth came with the sunrise as did the salvation of the world. I'll always cherish that Easter tradition. (Dana didn't go which upset me a little because we've gone every year since we were basically nothing.)

Fellowship with Alexis at the Orpheum was also fantastic! I love just being in that gorgeous building so to praise God there was extra special. It was held in the Orpheum to accommodate both locations and all three services of Fellowship, Downtown and Memphis. Our pastor spoke out of Job which was surprising but remarkably insightful! Throughout all of his hardships, Job was able to focus on God because, "I know my Redeemer lives."

Our lives should be directly effected by the resurrection every day in all we think, say, and do. I loved the message and Alexis and I got to talk during the car ride. She is one of the blessings God has recently put in my life, along with Ashley and Alison. God is so good...and the alliteration of A's is nice too ha.

Seeking God brings out the best in you and also reveals the worst of yourself that God will help you work on. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" Matthew 7:7-8

Couldn't Be Better...

The last few weeks have been absolutely magical. God shows up every day and surprises me with little coincidences, things that make me really smile. The struggles I've been going through the last few years don't even seem to matter to me now. That's not to say that I act exactly the way I should, but I have had such a sense of peace lately. God is so much greater than sin and living in fear and shame is no way to live at all.

I think my new Bible study has a lot to do with my newfound peace because it focuses on Max Lucado's book Fearless. I just have to keep reminding myself that "God did notgive us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. It's so hard to look beyond my own faculties sometimes but every time I remember God's desire for us to live our lived fearlessly, I am reassured. Jesus has overcome the grave and what else could I possibly have to worry about?

Only God knows what's in store for us; "therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." God is an ever-present guide...what could I possibly have to fear?

A Friday Night Trip to the South Pacific

After reading about a New Yorkers trip to see The Nose at the Met (Walking Off The Big Apple, another blog), I had the pleasure tonight of seeing South Pacific at Memphis' own artsy hotspot, The Orpheum. I had seen this production once at the high school where my aunt helped produce the show, but this performance was slightly more sophisticated than the other...

Any chance I get to go to the Orpheum is always a treat. Last time I had the thrill of experiencing Broadway's Wicked. (Soooo great!) Anyways, no matter how many times I go I'm always looking up, drawn to the ornate ceilings and sparkling chandeliers. I can't get enough of that theater feel. As a stage manager in high school, I can always appreciate how much work it takes to get the audience from the door through the 2-3 hour performance. And making friends with people in line at the bathroom is just a must because the wait is so dadgum long. My mom and I had the pleasure of meeting an older woman in a halter who had the misfortune of climbing the stairs with her champagne and spilling it on her dress (which was a halter dress by the way, a surprisingly nice pick for someone of such an age).

The first song was surprisingly perfect as the lead actress playing Nellie Forbush, Carmen Cusack, sang with the most classic Judy-Garland-esque voice I have yet to hear. The frenchman opposite her, Rod Gilfry, had a great quality sound, but I was never quite able to make out what he was trying to sing about... Lieutenant Cable was, of course, gorgeous with the voice of an angel. Everybody else did great too, but the main characters were chosen as the main characters for a reason.

Intermission as always was a rush of theater nazis to get at the rest of the wine and champagne. Not being 21 myself, I got my bottled water and peanut m&ms to make it back to my new seat just in time for the show to begin again. Mom and I had changed seats by this point due to the lady in front of me originally who insisted on being that "sit on the edge of my seat and lean over" kinda person. And she was nothing compared to the "crinkle my candy wrapper at the loudest possible volume" woman and the "forgot to silence my cell phone" gentleman.

Overall, great experience at the theater and a wonderful coincidence that I happened to go the same night I was inspired to see a show at the Met! (Thanks to my grandfather and grandmother who bailed at the last minute and gave my mom and I free tickets. )

New Beginnings!

So my PR teacher required us to start a blog but with all of the exciting, new things happening in my life, I am glad to have a place to write everything down! An online journal is my best bet anyways because I tend to buy journals and use about ten pages before I find a new one I like better...but that's besides the point.

I am so excited about my life right now because I can clearly see God working in my life and I've been missing that for about three or four years now, which is embarassing to say the least. I think I've always been a Christian because my family instilled in me such an obvious love for God that you just can't escape.

I'm so grateful that throughout my life my family has been such a wonderful support to me. Through my cancer, my parents' divvorce, just life in general, I counldn't have been blessed with more loving people in my life. My mom especially means so much to me because I have always been able to draw on her strength and kindness. My friend's joke that I don't have a heart..might be true ha..but my mom has nonetheless instilled in me the responsibility to loved ones and strangers alike to help those in need. (To whom much is given much is expected and whatnot.)

I want in my life to look back and see all of the opportunites that God gave me to help people and realize that I rose to the occasion in every circumstance to the best of my abilities. My heart yearns to cater to the needs of the children at St.Jude. I spent a solid 15 years of my life there and it's only fitting to return to the epic blessings of my life to give back.

I've started going to a new church, Fellowship, and I really love it! The service was amlost 2 hours long granted but I've been craving some time with God so much that I could have listened to him talk for hours more. Another great place I've been hearing about God is this new Bible study I started going to Monday nights on the book Fearless by Max Lucado. The Bible study is hosted and taught by Jeanne Stock whom I've known for years because her daughter Emily was involved with theater in high school with me. I am so grateful that God put this in my life! I really need this time with women who want to be there and learn what God has in stor for our lives together. I truly do miss God and I am so so thankful to have the opportunity to grow and not continue to be satisfied with how things are.

I'm excited and it's been a long time since I've been legitimatley focused on my life enough to have such a sincere emotion...good luck to me on this new journey! God, give me strength.
Diane