Hey God...It's me again.

Ok. So being overwhelmed with anxiety didnt work out. There are so many things piling up in my life that it seemed like I couldn't handle it. But eventually I came back to the thought that I wasnt created to handle it by myself but I was made to NEED to lean on God for all things.

After having an extremely rough weekend where one thing after another went wrong, I was physically shaking to the point of a panic attack/nervous breakdown. But God in all His glorious mercy opened up opportunities for me to be able to talk to several girls at my church who have really been an inspiration to me. I am so thankful for their presence and their ability to remind me of God's unconditional love.

That's a hard concept for me, mostly because I really don't deserve any part of His love. But He says to me through his Word and through Mary, a great encourager and friend, "My God is changeless in his love for me and he will come and help me." Psalm 59:10. Unbelievable to me that he would still want me after what a mess I am, but he's there regardless.

I asked for this. I asked God to give me "trials and tribulations" because I know that it's a sure-fire relationship builder. I prayed it hastily, knowing I would want to take it back. And let me say, when it rains, it pours. But I wouldn't change how I got so overwhelmed because it showed me that I can't do it by myself. God made us to need the fellowship and protection of true friends who can give sound advice and lead us in the right direction. He made us to desperately need him and I feel so safe knowing that my life is dependent on the one who has my best interests at heart no matter what I think my path in life might be. I'm so glad to have been down that hard time so that now I really see how much I truly NEED Him.

Time after time I come to Him asking to take me back, to help me off the floor and give me strength. I'm just now seeing that he wants us to have that desperate desire for Him. I had to hit a really low low to realize exactly how much dependence I have for Him..to change my heart, to keep me going, to show me my sin, to take it upon himself, to literally breathe when I've stressed out so much I don't remember how.

He knew I needed Him and that I needed those girls yesterday and I am so thnkful that he delivered such an awesome, genuine, amaaazing set of girls that I can truly count on to lift me up through prayer and fellowship. God is sooooooooo goood!!!!!!!!!!!

He gave me such an overwhelming sense of peace about everything and has allowed me to remember his love that does not fail me when I fail myself.
Plus, I got Crazy Love today and I'm super-excited to get started with this life-changing book that I have heard so much about from numerous people.

God, I don't want to be lukewarm. I want to be on fire for you and constantly seeking your will in every situation. Guide me to your will, take away my selfishness and allow me to show others your mercy and grace in all that I say and do.

Diane Elise