Unstoppable Passion

Over the past couple of months, I have jumped into the Young Adult Community (YAC) at Hope Presbyterian Church. I still don't know how I feel particularly about being a pres, seeing as I've been a Southern Baptist all my life, but I do know that this place has truly given me hope. After years of being numb to life and unfocused on what's really going on, I have really started to wake up.

But even though I'm consistently going to church now (Sundays plus various days of the week), I can't tell how much it's really effected my personal relationship with God. I can see myself happier and definitely more focused on the beauty of life. I see the hope I have in Christ and I know that my past sins are not counted against me.

But how much more am I really talking with God? When does my dedication to knowing Him become so fervent that I can't go a day without talking to Him? I want desperately to be a sincere Christian and not just one that seems to know what they're saying. The thing is, I truly believe in all of the inspirations which God has sent me lately and know that He is continuously there for me.

Now it's my turn to be there for Him and show up where it really counts, in personal one-on-one time with Him. I want to be doing things for His glory and not my own. My slefishness for attention and the desire for people to see me doing the "right thing" have to cease to be the factors that drive me to righteousness.

God, give me an unstoppable passion for you that can only be quenched as I bring glory to Your Name in a selfless way,

Diane Elise

Ahhhhh

To be still for minute is absolutely amazing. I feel like I've been going going going all week and finally I have absolutely nothing to do. Catching up with Hulu is always part of my downtime but my queue is still quite daunting. While the rest is much-needed, I must say I have really enjoyed being so busy this past week. (Rest always seems much sweeter when it's deserved ha.) I also feel like I've accomplished so much just by working and reconnecting with people. Cassie and Kealy came swimming this week which was so fun. Those girls are just a kick to be around. I remember being a senior in high school...vaguely. They're just really sweet. And then Drew from high school went to a Ryan's party with me Friay night and that was a lot of fun.

Looking back at the week I guess I have had adequate downtime but helping my grandparents clean, working with Alexis and at Old Navy it just seems like a lot.

God has really shown me alot this week through various situations. The lesson most frequently shown to me would have to be the "fearless" message which I have been hearing since I started Max Lucado's bible study with Jeanne. In everything you do, and I mean everything, if fear is in play, the situation is never as good as it has the potential to be. Fear is crippling and unsettles your stability in Christ and it's been really nice not to be so anxious and worried all the time.


Here's hoping next week is as good to me as this past week was :)

Seeking Him

Today's Bible study theme was seeking Him. Really, this is some of the most concise, sound advice you can receive for your daily life. Everything else will automatically fall into place if you're striving to do your best through Him. I have been so encouraged lately by the people God has brought into my life. I asked specifically for these new people in prayer and He faithfully delivered. I am so excited about this new time in my life because I can see God in everything! It's crazy how much you notice when you actually take the time to look around.

I can't remember a time in my life when I have been able to think so clearly. Nothing is holding me back from doing the things I want to do and the peace that comes with knowing "perfect love casts out fear" is phenomenal. God has put blessing after blessing after blessing into my life when I clearly haven't been living a life worthy of such acknowledgement. It's Easter's great message of salvation though that God loves us more than He really should.

Easter morning was one of the most glorious mornings. Mom, Michael and Adam and I went to my grandparents church for sunrise service and I think it was the first time since I've gone that it hasn't been frigidly cold. The warmth came with the sunrise as did the salvation of the world. I'll always cherish that Easter tradition. (Dana didn't go which upset me a little because we've gone every year since we were basically nothing.)

Fellowship with Alexis at the Orpheum was also fantastic! I love just being in that gorgeous building so to praise God there was extra special. It was held in the Orpheum to accommodate both locations and all three services of Fellowship, Downtown and Memphis. Our pastor spoke out of Job which was surprising but remarkably insightful! Throughout all of his hardships, Job was able to focus on God because, "I know my Redeemer lives."

Our lives should be directly effected by the resurrection every day in all we think, say, and do. I loved the message and Alexis and I got to talk during the car ride. She is one of the blessings God has recently put in my life, along with Ashley and Alison. God is so good...and the alliteration of A's is nice too ha.

Seeking God brings out the best in you and also reveals the worst of yourself that God will help you work on. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened" Matthew 7:7-8

Couldn't Be Better...

The last few weeks have been absolutely magical. God shows up every day and surprises me with little coincidences, things that make me really smile. The struggles I've been going through the last few years don't even seem to matter to me now. That's not to say that I act exactly the way I should, but I have had such a sense of peace lately. God is so much greater than sin and living in fear and shame is no way to live at all.

I think my new Bible study has a lot to do with my newfound peace because it focuses on Max Lucado's book Fearless. I just have to keep reminding myself that "God did notgive us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. It's so hard to look beyond my own faculties sometimes but every time I remember God's desire for us to live our lived fearlessly, I am reassured. Jesus has overcome the grave and what else could I possibly have to worry about?

Only God knows what's in store for us; "therefore do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." God is an ever-present guide...what could I possibly have to fear?

A Friday Night Trip to the South Pacific

After reading about a New Yorkers trip to see The Nose at the Met (Walking Off The Big Apple, another blog), I had the pleasure tonight of seeing South Pacific at Memphis' own artsy hotspot, The Orpheum. I had seen this production once at the high school where my aunt helped produce the show, but this performance was slightly more sophisticated than the other...

Any chance I get to go to the Orpheum is always a treat. Last time I had the thrill of experiencing Broadway's Wicked. (Soooo great!) Anyways, no matter how many times I go I'm always looking up, drawn to the ornate ceilings and sparkling chandeliers. I can't get enough of that theater feel. As a stage manager in high school, I can always appreciate how much work it takes to get the audience from the door through the 2-3 hour performance. And making friends with people in line at the bathroom is just a must because the wait is so dadgum long. My mom and I had the pleasure of meeting an older woman in a halter who had the misfortune of climbing the stairs with her champagne and spilling it on her dress (which was a halter dress by the way, a surprisingly nice pick for someone of such an age).

The first song was surprisingly perfect as the lead actress playing Nellie Forbush, Carmen Cusack, sang with the most classic Judy-Garland-esque voice I have yet to hear. The frenchman opposite her, Rod Gilfry, had a great quality sound, but I was never quite able to make out what he was trying to sing about... Lieutenant Cable was, of course, gorgeous with the voice of an angel. Everybody else did great too, but the main characters were chosen as the main characters for a reason.

Intermission as always was a rush of theater nazis to get at the rest of the wine and champagne. Not being 21 myself, I got my bottled water and peanut m&ms to make it back to my new seat just in time for the show to begin again. Mom and I had changed seats by this point due to the lady in front of me originally who insisted on being that "sit on the edge of my seat and lean over" kinda person. And she was nothing compared to the "crinkle my candy wrapper at the loudest possible volume" woman and the "forgot to silence my cell phone" gentleman.

Overall, great experience at the theater and a wonderful coincidence that I happened to go the same night I was inspired to see a show at the Met! (Thanks to my grandfather and grandmother who bailed at the last minute and gave my mom and I free tickets. )

New Beginnings!

So my PR teacher required us to start a blog but with all of the exciting, new things happening in my life, I am glad to have a place to write everything down! An online journal is my best bet anyways because I tend to buy journals and use about ten pages before I find a new one I like better...but that's besides the point.

I am so excited about my life right now because I can clearly see God working in my life and I've been missing that for about three or four years now, which is embarassing to say the least. I think I've always been a Christian because my family instilled in me such an obvious love for God that you just can't escape.

I'm so grateful that throughout my life my family has been such a wonderful support to me. Through my cancer, my parents' divvorce, just life in general, I counldn't have been blessed with more loving people in my life. My mom especially means so much to me because I have always been able to draw on her strength and kindness. My friend's joke that I don't have a heart..might be true ha..but my mom has nonetheless instilled in me the responsibility to loved ones and strangers alike to help those in need. (To whom much is given much is expected and whatnot.)

I want in my life to look back and see all of the opportunites that God gave me to help people and realize that I rose to the occasion in every circumstance to the best of my abilities. My heart yearns to cater to the needs of the children at St.Jude. I spent a solid 15 years of my life there and it's only fitting to return to the epic blessings of my life to give back.

I've started going to a new church, Fellowship, and I really love it! The service was amlost 2 hours long granted but I've been craving some time with God so much that I could have listened to him talk for hours more. Another great place I've been hearing about God is this new Bible study I started going to Monday nights on the book Fearless by Max Lucado. The Bible study is hosted and taught by Jeanne Stock whom I've known for years because her daughter Emily was involved with theater in high school with me. I am so grateful that God put this in my life! I really need this time with women who want to be there and learn what God has in stor for our lives together. I truly do miss God and I am so so thankful to have the opportunity to grow and not continue to be satisfied with how things are.

I'm excited and it's been a long time since I've been legitimatley focused on my life enough to have such a sincere emotion...good luck to me on this new journey! God, give me strength.
Diane