Spaghetti on the Wall

Why is it that I never feel like I'm ready for what God has for me? He keeps testing me, throwing me against the wall and I can never seem to stick. My faith never seems to keep me sustained and I continuously find myself doubting God's ability to work in my life.

I feel so insufficient. But my mom sent a verse to me today that helped me with some perspective. 1 John 4:16 says, "If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them...There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear."

Love to me just doesn't feel like enough. I'm skeptical that "love" is enough to sustain me even though I know that it was LOVE nailed to a cross that took away my sin. I want to feel like I'm not useless as a vessel of God. But I think part of that feeling may be selfish.

I think that by simply loving God through all that we do, everything else will fall into place. I need faith for that. Mostly I need God to give me strength to love Him because I'm too selfish to do it by myself. But I know the truth Christ died to convey; love IS enough.